It’s Not About How You Look
Know what breaks my heart? When a friend I haven't seen for months tells me she was super nervous picking out an outfit to wear for our lunch date. That is NOT how I want anyone to feel, about me or anyone else. Because although I talk a lot about how to...
Reader Request: Constructive Criticism in the Fitting Room
Reader Nancy e-mailed this question to me: I think it would be great if you would write an article about shopping with others. I have problems with this, stemming from shopping with my mom as a teenager. I have had more body issues from those awkward times than from...
Body Image and Paradigm Traps
[This post discusses dieting, exercise, and fat-shaming.] A friend sent me these infographics about cultural paradigms. The two featured are shame/honor which is described as a central paradigm in some Eastern cultures and guilt/righteousness which is attributed to...
None of Your Business
What's the matter with your life? Why you gotta mess with mine? Don't keep sweating what I do Cuz I'm gonna be just fine. ~ Salt-n-Pepa, "None of Your Business" A dear friend of mine teaches fitness classes out on the West Coast. She e-mailed me recently to say that...
Reader Request: Age-appropriate Dressing
Many of you have requested some guidelines for dressing to suit your chronological age and although I’ve touched on some loose guidelines for women over 40, I wanted to address this topic from a more general standpoint. But first, the caveats: There are about a...
Shouldn’t Wear That
“She REALLY shouldn’t wear that.” I’ve heard it. I’ve read it. And back before I really considered the impact of casual language on self-esteem, I even said it myself. But nowadays when I hear that phrase, I absolutely cringe. It strikes me as more damaging than many...
Observe and Reserve Judgment
There are magazine columns, websites, and television shows built around the practice of examining fashion choices and making fun of them. They focus mainly on celebrities, but regular people get caught in the crossfire, too, occasionally. And while constructive...
Affection for the Unchangeable
An anonymous commenter had this request: How about a post on learning to love (or a least accept) physical features that you don't like and can't change? Big nose, bad hair, weak chin; features that can't be hidden or made more attractive by careful dressing. And I...
Defining Your Body
The world expects you to define your body in certain terms. Waist size, bust size, height, weight. These measurements should figure into your holistic view of your physical self, but they needn’t be the only factors. And spending some time in front of the mirror...
An Argument for Self-love
So many women default to self-loathing. Or, at the very least, self-neutrality. Pride is a sin, after all, and it’s more socially acceptable to trash-talk your own body than it is to praise it. Our society has conflated humility with self-deprecation, which makes open...
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