Reality Check

Do real women have children? Do real women have C cups and above? Do real women have loads of life experience under their belts? Do real women have curves? Do real women have undyed hair? Do real women work for a paycheck? Do real women have sass? Do real women let their armpit hair grow long?

Yes. Yes.
All this and more.

Real women have children, real women cannot have children, real women choose not to have children, real women will have children someday, real women are unsure about having children, real women have grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Real women have tiny boobs, real women have giant boobs, real women have medium-sized boobs, real women have one boob that is WAAAAY bigger than the other, real women have had to have their boobs surgically removed, real women have had their boobs augmented or reduced, real women haven’t quite finished growing their boobs yet.

Real women have traveled the world, real women are yet to explore beyond their hometowns, real women have never been kissed, real women are trying to figure out who they are, real women are happy right where they are, real women will never be satisfied.

Real women have curves, real women are curve-free, real women look like Jessica Rabbit and like Olive Oyl, real women carry their weight up high and down low, real women wish they could carry more weight, real women have tiny waists and no waists, real women are infinite in geometry and configuration.

Real women have always had the same hair color, real women hate their natural hair color and haven’t seen it in decades, real women prefer to change their hair color about once a week, real women get tri-color highlights at the salon, real women do their own highlights, real women are covering their grays, real women are salt-and-pepper, real women are all gray and all white, real women have just done “the big chop” and can’t wait to grow back in, real women relax their hair regularly, real women adore their wig collections, real women wear hats their friends have knitted for them because the hair is all gone.

Real women work their asses off for a paycheck, real women are still in school and haven’t gotten a job yet, real women work their asses off raising kids, real women are spending some time traveling before settling down to a job, real women have enough money that they don’t have to work for a paycheck, real women work and wish they didn’t have to.

Real women are full to the brim with sass, real women are so shy they can’t look a waitress in the eye, real women can give speeches to crowds of thousands, real women would prefer to stay home and read than go out clubbing, real women talk a lot but feel misunderstood and a little awkward most of the time, real women can salsa dance with total strangers, real women are learning to smile when people flirt with them.

Real women let their armpit hair grow long, real women shave every day, real women wax and use Nair and get laser hair removal, real women feel more womanly when they let their body hair be, just as it is, real women feel more womanly when they are as body-hairless as possible.

Real women wear full makeup to the gym and real women have no idea how to apply mascara. Real women have above average BMIs and real women are finally learning to eat again. Real women have sex with men, or with other women, or with both, or with people who don’t fit into a gender binary, or not at all, or aren’t ready for sex yet, or don’t want sex anymore. Real women have skin that is pale and rich dark brown and coffee-colored and spotty and smooth and tattooed and pierced and everything in-between. Real women dedicate their lives to eradicating hunger on a global scale, and real women rely on an accumulation of small actions to change their local communities from the inside out. Real women talk too loud in bars and real women don’t drink alcohol. Real women have parents who toiled for every penny and real women come from a long line of family wealth. Real women are pious and atheistic and unsure and still exploring. Real women are tall and short and fat and thin. Real women are redheads and brunettes and blondes, real women have black hair and gray hair and turquoise hair – and real women ALL have fun, and gentlemen prefer us ALL. Real women have just had their first menstrual cycle and real women are long past menopause.

Real women come from everywhere and can be found everywhere.

Yes. Yes.
All this and more.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not a real woman. NEVER. Not even another woman who seems wiser or more worldly or prouder or louder or prettier or sexier or stronger than you. No one can take your realness from you.

No one except yourself.

And don’t you dare.

Image courtesy Christi Nielsen. Please take a look at her gorgeous “Ink” set, which she says is for an upcoming book project.